Feathered Beast

I love this theory: birds are descendants of dinosaurs.

Isn't that the coolest thing you ever heard?

And they have proof, too. Dinosaur fossil remains with feathers. It's like a missing link in the bird world. The transvestite of animals.

But the conundrum that always gets caught in my brain is this: if the dinosaurs vanished from the planet due to some planetary catastrophe, then how could the birds descend from them?

Wooo...brain teaser!

Well, paleontologists do answer that question. I once asked Mark Norell of the American Museum of Natural History in New York that very question. And the answer was: obviously not all of them became extinct. Norell's fossil discoveries keep mounting the evidence for dinosaur-as-bird theories.

I'm all for it. Anything to give birds more june nest cest quoi is okay in my book. Adds to their mystique as we watch them float on airwaves. Now who else can do that?

These photos of flying birds are by photog/artist Rosalie Winard. She calls them Avian Primitives. And they do evoke that early planetary atmosphere of wildlife free from human meddling. (Okay, we're not just meddlers, but we do meddle.)

The other photo is the missing link Archaeopteryx. It's the fossil thing with feathers. Ahhh....feathers. Don't you wish you had some? I do. A kind of soft coat of arms. Something to flutter. Something to fly on. 

Ever see birds clean their feathers? They slide their beak down the feather shaft from close to their bodies to the tip of the feather. Especially after a splash in a puddle. Or a dirt bath. 

Ingenious: dirt baths. An oxymoron with a whole lot of sense.

BASH

That's what they call it. Bird Aircraft Strike Hazard. Or Bird Strike (without picket signs).  It's when an airborne animal hits an airborne man-made thing. Birds-Planes.

But what do they do to avoid this unwelcome meeting? Wikipedia says it so nicely: "The are three approaches to reduce the effect of bird strikes. The vehicle can be designed to be more bird resistant, the birds can be moved out of the way of the vehicle, or the vehicle can be moved out of the way of the birds." Now why didn't I think of that!

1. Engines will shut down if hit with a 4 pound bird.

2. Cockpit windows are strong enough to withstand a 4 pound bird.

3. BUT multiple birds (read: flock) can disable the engines (read: US Airways Flight 1549 yesterday)

Now to getting the birds out of the way of the vehicle: pull up trees and marshland, grasslands of attractive bird habitats near airports, install dogs to patrol airport borders for migrant bird intrusions (just keep the dogs away from the planes), use big sounds and explosions to scare them away (scarecrows don't work, you can thank the Wizard for that).

How about getting that vehicle out of the way? Well, they discourage taking off when a flock of birds are hanging around. And it sounds like they're extra careful during migratory season in planning flight routes. That's when EVERYONE needs the skies at the same time. Who would've thunk that the sky-- the GREAT BIG MOST-OF-THE-TIME BLUE sky would run out of room? I'll bet when you were a kid and asked, "Daddy, why is the sky blue?" (Has any kid ever really asked that question?) You would have been floored if he said: "You know, one day, that sky will be so crowded you won't even know what color it is." (Was that the answer?) (If you want to know why the sky is blue see link over to the left there under: Links)

Same goes for the big black sky in outer space. We've got so many radio waves and satellite paths and blabbing people and clicking fax machines and movies and football games flying around the magnetic field of air waves that even the radio telescopes on the lookout for attacking asteroids can't see a thing because of all our fooling-around static. I mean what's more important: Telephone gossip or finding new planets? (Hmmm...that's a toss-up.)

I wonder how many outer space animals we're intruding upon with all that blather?

Anyway, as for the plane-bird combination, it seems like the airplane business is on top of it as they can be. (Especially the pilot of US Airways Flight 1549) I hope they feel the same way at the next waterfowl town meeting.